CHANGE

I dunno wat I m doin nw or at all y am I riting dis in d 1^st plac bt jst dat I needed 2 vomit…..2day ws shivani’s bday nd dat is wat a bottle f vodka dos, I mean u dnt wanna rember bullsht stuff bt den u do…nd u do nd u do until u hav tears rolin dwn ur cheeks nd sleep in ur eyes bt dat same recurring dream wich damn dsnt let u sleep bt u stil manage 2 fall asleep cuz ur lids r heavy as lead nd memories wich threaten 2 throttle u…..

i realized sumthin of late nd dat has hrt me lik hell….ppl chng…nd wile I dnt giv a damn as 2 wat odrs do wid deir lives bt ges wat close ppl…..ppl who wer ur alter ego once chang…cn u beat dat?i mean hw can u?nd y wil u?u hav no rite….initialy wen I used 2 dream abt leving dis colg I knew jst one thing…I wud luv my frends d samway nd send rahul rakhi thru mails nd evrythin wud be changed bt stil wud remain d sam bt nw…I hav been a witness nd ppl chng, dammit dey do…ges hw tuf wud dat b 2 deal wid?2day I am sayin I luv dis nd 2mrw…I hat d sam bloody thin’…height f hypocrisy….shit man…it sux,big time.2 think f it, ppl chng lik seasons…radr dayz….it ws so easy b4 I used 2 prmise I wud b der 2 enjoy my best frends weeding bt nw….i am so scared I shal chng dat I wenevr I promise al dis stuff afr colege I hav dis fear dat at all things wud b sam…things wud chang bt damn, wud it chng so much dat I wud strt being scared f brownie or perhaps, I wud run away from my frends…..it hurts 2 think lik dat,wat d fuk man…luv dem , use dem nd den lev dem……y?jst cuz u hav changed…..

D odr day me nd my frends werwalkin dwn d road 2 colegfe nd den suddenly “nothing staz d sam”…..i rplied”atlest d road wud satay d sam”….is dat it? I mean u chng nd evrythin chnges…..sumtimes I feel dat I am makin’ a big issue outta nothin’……

Bt den “I shall plant my apple tree evn if d wrld is goin 2 end 2mrw”….

Nd until evrythin is changed from a 2 zee…I wud fancy myself…..